31 Days of Snark: A Witty Journey Through May’s Most Sarcastic Journal Prompts

In Journal Prompts • by CuteCrafting, April 10, 2024

Welcome to ’31 Days of Snark: A Witty Journey Through May’s Most Sarcastic Journal Prompts’—the ultimate challenge for the sardonically inclined! Are you ready to roll your eyes so hard you might actually find your brain’s hidden corners?

Each day in May, we’ll provide you with a uniquely snarky prompt designed to unleash your inner cynic and maybe, just maybe, crack a smile on that stoic face of yours. From crafting passive-aggressive love letters to your coffee maker to inventing holidays celebrating mediocre talents, this blog is your safe space to vent, jest, and jest again.

Dive into daily exercises in sarcasm, whip your wit into shape, and participate in a community where your snide remarks earn you medals of honor. Forget the usual journaling prompts that gently nudge you towards self-discovery; we’re here to make you discover how hilariously cynical you can be.

Join us as we navigate the treacherous waters of adulting with nothing but our sharp tongues and maybe a pen. Who knows, by the end of May, you might just be crowned the Sultan of Snark or the Duchess of Derision. Read, laugh, and contribute—if you think you’re witty enough.

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May 1st: “Write about a time when you were as motivated as a sloth on vacation. Bonus points if it was today.”
May 2nd: “Pen a love letter to your coffee maker. Clearly, it’s the most meaningful relationship you have.”
May 3rd: “Describe your exercise routine using only metaphors related to sleeping or eating.”
May 4th: “May the Fourth be with you. Invent a new Star Wars character based on your morning routine.”
May 5th: “Cinco de Mayo! Design a taco that represents your personality. Yes, you can include tequila.”
May 6th: “Compose a haiku about your feelings towards people who post their workouts online.”
May 7th: “Imagine a world where your pet pays the bills. Describe your role in their life.”
May 8th: “List all the things you could be doing if you didn’t have to ‘adult’ today.”
May 9th: “What conspiracy theory are you starting about why your laundry never matches up?”
May 10th: “You’re now the CEO of the last company you complained about online. What’s your first executive order?”
May 11th: “Draft a public apology from your alarm clock for all the times it’s wronged you.”
May 12th: “Describe your cooking style using only movie titles.”
May 13th: “Mother’s Day. Write an honest job description for a mother, monster-truck announcer style.”
May 14th: “Create a superhero whose power is to make people speak their internet search history out loud.”
May 15th: “What would a Yelp review written by your pet say about your room/apartment/house?”
May 16th: “You’ve just won an award for the world’s most average human. What did you do to earn it?”
May 17th: “Write about the last time you tried to do something that’s ‘for kids’ and failed spectacularly.”
May 18th: “If you had a theme song that played every time you entered a room, what disastrous song would it be?”
May 19th: “You’re an influencer, but only for things no one cares about. What’s your first sponsored post?”
May 20th: “Invent a holiday that celebrates your most mediocre talent.”
May 21st: “Write a guide on how to avoid people you know in public places.”
May 22nd: “If laziness were a video game, what would be the boss level?”
May 23rd: “What’s your spirit animal? And no, you can’t pick something majestic. Think more along the lines of a raccoon at a trash can.”
May 24th: “Describe your dream house, but it can only be made of items you’ve bought online while half-asleep.”
May 25th: “You’re a detective in a crime novel, but you only solve very, very minor crimes. What’s your first case?”
May 26th: “What’s the most passive-aggressive gift you could give to your arch-nemesis?”
May 27th: “You’re now a villain in a fantasy world. What mundane inconvenience do you unleash upon the heroes?”
May 28th: “Memorial Day. Honor the memory of all the plants you’ve killed. Perhaps a moment of silence?”
May 29th: “What would your warning label say if every person came with one?”
May 30th: “Write the plot of a horror movie where the villain is your last text message.”
May 31st: “You get to make one law that everyone in the world has to follow. What’s the pettiest law you can come up with?”